Beauty within

I choose a photo that speaks to me in the moment... then I post it here and write what the image brings to my mind. Or, sometimes I have something in mind and I go around the house with my camera searching for the shot that could illustrate my state of mind. 

That's how it usually works.

This time though... I started with this old shot in mind. I like it very much. It's part of a little series of five or six photos. Probably workers' cabins. The Queen Elizabeth cruise ship in Quebec City's port last Summer. The plants in these windows stood out against the dull gray colour of the hull. Orchids. Not in all windows, but two or three. And colourful pots. 

Beauty within. The cabins are probably not very fancy. Rather basic, I suppose. But there were flowers in the windows. Orchids.

I have lost touch, maybe just slightly, with my inner beauty. Or I just feel it slipping away. And can't seem to hold on. Lazy effort now and then to keep the light on and let it shine outward again. But fog surrounds my mind. Soft and grayish. The light can't go far. As if there was nothing to shine upon.

Don't read any moodiness into this. I'm not really uncomfortable about it. As I write this, it's as if I'm watching from a distance. I feel no pain. Just observing, taking note. 

Through my life, I have made a habit of cultivating my inner garden. But lately, I've just been standing in the middle of it. And time seems to have halted to a stop. I breathe in and out. And my inner world follows the movement. I hold my breath and all is still. Still life. 

Still life is not life.

But I am here. 

I am alive. 

And I will shine again.

Breathe in...

Breathe out.