March 12, 2011

Loner, that's all.


My journey has been a long one. I'm still moving. Trying to understand myself.

Reading, introspection and sometimes therapy have helped me grow. But there's point beyond which I have always refused to go, knowing that I was not ready. Is the time coming ? I don't know. But things are rumbling inside.

Certain words have popped up recurrently during my journey.
Borderline. Schizoid. Avoidant. Just ''traits'', I've been told, just traits.
When I research these traits... I do recognize myself in some of the patterns. More so in my younger years.

And yes, I have abandonment and attachment issues too. Don't we all.
Have been said to be a ''highly sensitive person'' also.

But when I wander too close to these traits and issues and what I must look at to understand them, I fight back by saying ''hey, I'm just a loner and there's nothing wrong with that!' We all have our little demons...''

Still, I know I'll have to look in that mirror sooner or later.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loner

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